Spotted in: CNBC’s Mad Money
Topic: Corporate mergers and positioning
Frame Used: Corporate Gobbledygook Frame
Quote:
“This may be the second most important day in our company’s history. Of course, Founder’s Day is the most important, but this is really about two great iconic American companies joining forces to create what we think is the preeminent global health and wellness leader.”
What This Frame Does
Uses big words to say very little. “Preeminent global health and wellness leader” sounds powerful until you try to picture what it means. Substitutes clarity with noise. The language suggests importance but never defines it. Covers a simple idea with grandeur. The reality: Kimberly-Clark is expanding its portfolio to include more baby and skincare products. That’s straightforward. The phrasing makes it sound like a revolution.
Why It Doesn’t Work
It’s vague. No one knows what a “preeminent global health and wellness leader” actually is — or how you measure it. It confuses the audience. Investors hear ambition, but not the business case. It wastes a clear story. The company is doing something understandable — expanding trusted brands — but buries it under filler.
Takeaway for Communicators
When clarity is possible, choose it.
You don’t need to sound big. You need to sound real.
Corporate Gobbledygook version:
“We’re creating the preeminent global health and wellness leader.”
Clear version:
“We’re bringing together some of the world’s most trusted brands in baby care, skincare, and over-the-counter health — with a combined brand value of $XX billion.”
That line tells you what’s happening, what it includes, and why it matters — no translation required.